hear my plea (and come save my life)
by nouveaulove
Summary: Her fingers are almost touching him, she can feel the warmth radiating off his skin, when his voice, as deep and lovely as she remembers, stops her and shatters her world anew. "Who are you?" /post-TROS fix-it fic
1. Chapter 1

hear my plea (and come save my life)

chapter i

* * *

Rey shocks awake.

There's nothing left of the dream that woke her.

Except—

There it is again. Energy radiating in the center of her being. Something calling to her, as natural as the Force, echoing inside of her. _ Again _.

It was happening more frequently now, almost every night, and therefore getting harder to ignore. It had been easier when it started almost four months again. When it had only happened once or twice and she was busy with the Resistance flushing out the dregs of the First Order and trying to figure out how she was even meant to keep the legacy of the Jedi alive. But now…

Rey frowned, looking out the small window beside her cot at the sunrise peeking over the jungles of Yavin 4.

_ Trust the Force _, she hears a voice from one of the countless Jedi that try to guide from the afterlife.

Easy for it to say. It had been difficult to trust much of anything since—

Rey shook her head. Breakfast. Breakfast was what she needed.

* * *

After a ration pack and a strong cup of caf that makes her grimace, Rey feels clear headed enough to begin her day.

After a delay caused by BB-8 and D-0 and a suspicious loose wire, she sets about finding Finn. And she does. Glaring furiously at rocks.

"I'm sure I'm doing this wrong."

She smiles at the mulish quality in her friend's voice. "You're not. You managed the pebbles fine, remember? Stop trying so hard."

He stops glowering at the rocks to give her a sardonic look. "Stop trying to lift the rocks to lift the rocks?"

Rey shrugs, "That's the Force for you."

She settles across from Finn, crossing her legs, shutting her eyes, andpo allowing the Force to lift her into the air.

"Show off."

She bites back a grin at Finn's grumbling. She lets the Force surround her, the life of the jungle singing to her senses, and begins to meditate.

* * *

_ Find me_, a voice whispers.

A light at the corner of her consciousness bleeds out. She sees the far Western Reaches of the universe and past them a flash of stars in a twisting nebula of red and violet. Two moons to the side of an emerald planet.

_ Find me_, the voice repeats.

Wide open fields, dotted with creme and pink flora. Sunlight shimmering off water. A hand, wide and strong, wrapped around her own.

_ Find me. It is time. _

"Rey! REY!"

Shocked by Finn's panicked voice, her eyes pop open. There's a sheen of sweat over her skin and even with the great heaving breaths she is taking, she can not manage to catch her breath. She drops back down to the ground. Rey realizes that in her meditation she has lifted a boulder, one twice her size and she lets it fall, it's weight shaking the earth.

Finn looks between the boulder and her. "What the hell was that?"

* * *

"I don't understand, what is calling you? And why do you need to go try to find a random voice? Rey? Talk to me!"

Finn's tone is enough to make her pause in loading the Falcon.

"I don't know Finn. That's why I have to go. Something is out there and it needs me. What if someone is hurting and I could help? I have to know."

"Fine." Finn's mouth twists as if tasting something unpleasant. "Then I'm coming with you."

She shakes her head. "No. Poe and Rose need you here. Plus, we don't know when Jannah will be back with Lando. You're needed here."

He looks ready to argue but she is quick to cut him off.

"I'll be fine." Rey gives him her most ernest smile. "I promise."

Finn gave a sigh before reaching out to hug her. "Radio every day to check in okay?"

She nods against his shoulder. "I will."

* * *

If convincing Finn was difficult, telling BB-8 took twice as long. The droid was eager to accompany her but she knew Poe wouldn't want to separate from the unit when she isn't sure how long the mission will take. But now, in the silence of hyperspace, she wishes for the comforting beeps and chirps of her small friend.

The quiet is always the worst with the way it makes the torn edges of the Bond she had shared with Ben impossible to ignore, the hollowness that threatens to eat away at her. It was Palpatine who ripped the bond from them and that, after Ben's death, still stands empty in a way that threatening never to be filled.

It also makes her think of Tatooine, of the month she spent there. The silence of the sands, waking from nightmares of Ben's lifeless form with sobs in her throat. She had remembered the sweetness of his smile, the softness of his lips, and the way he's tasted of sweat and dirt and the Force. She had relived the moment, the breathtaking moment when she'd awoken in Ben's arms and thought _ finally _ until it had threatened to break her.

So she had buried it, same as the lightsabers, in the sand and tried to move on. But it's moments like these where she is alone that she wonders, had she managed that at all?

* * *

It takes time to locate the planet from her vision in the archives, and longer yet to get there. It was past the Western Reaches almost in the Outer Rim with only the label of PT-364. Rey wonders what the locals call it.

When she hits atmosphere she is struck by the strength of the Force here. It lays heavily on this planet. Not so much as Ahch-To, but still. Was that why she was called here?

She doesn't spot any cities or large outposts as she flies over. Unsure of where to begin, she casts a net looking for life signatures. The planet isn't heavily populated, she feels a couple of larger groupings of individuals (settlements or towns, perhaps?) but mostly there are small dotting of people spread out.

As Rey focuses, she is able to pick up an energy. It's stronger than the rest, the Force wrapped around it. She follows it like a beacon until it leads her to a vast forest. Setting the Falcon down in a meadow, as close as she can get to the forest, Rey wishes in vain she had brought along a speeder bike. But as she grabs her pack and lightsaber, she can't feel too disappointed by the notion of a hike through the woods. Being surrounded by lush, living things is an experience that never stops filling her with wonder.

The trees are tall and wide with silvery bark while the forest floor is covered in ferns and moss in ranging shades of blues and greens. Beams of pale sunlight shone through the branches of the trees and Rey takes in the loveliness of it all.

Seeking out the Force signature, she winds her way through the woods. She wonders at the energy, why it calls to her, what it wants. Could it be a place, an artifact, a person? A child?

Leia had told her the way the Jedi council of the old Republic had taken Force sensitive children from their homes as young as possible as to properly train them. Rey isn't sure if, or how she is going to carry on the legacy of the Jedi but she knows she will never separate children from their families.

* * *

She isn't sure of the cycles of this planet but she guesses to must be about mid-day as she stops to rest and grab a jogan fruit from her pack. She's been walking for close to two standard hours and Rey could feel the energy stronger now. It pulsed within her body.

_ Find me. Find me. Find me. _

Anticipation had flooded her system and with it an edge of anxiety. What would she find?

After finishing her fruit, she stood and wiped her fingers off on her pants. Rey pushed aside her apprehensions. There wasn't any turning back now, there was only ahead.

It wasn't long after that she came upon a homestead, a stone hut with a lean-to barn and wide garden off to one side. Curious, she looked around. The energy seemed to be coming from around here.

"Well I haven't seen one of those in nearly 80 years." A gruff voice says in standard.

Rey starts and turns to the voice. A humanoid male, older, with a wide barrel chest and deep purple skin has come around the side of the barn, holding a hoe in one hand. With his free hand, he points down at the lightsaber attached to her belt. "What's a Jedi doing in these parts?"

"I'm Rey." She starts, giving him a polite smile. "How do you know about the Jedi?"

"In 300 years you learn a thing or two. So what brings you here?"

"It may seem odd…"

"In my experience Jedi usually are."

Rey wonders if she should feel annoyed by the comment but since she silently agrees, she lets it slide. "I was following a Force signature, like an energy, and it led me here. Do you know of anything that might explain why?"

Instead of the confusion Rey expected, the man seems to almost instantly understands. "Ah, well…"

A rustling comes from behind her and the man peeks around Rey to say. "Yeled, there you are. I see you got the firewood."

There it was, the energy, stronger than ever before and prickling at all of her senses. It must be this individual, this Yeled. But along with the energy, the leftover edges of the bond she had shared with Ben warms. It feels like a faint echo of what it was like before.

Rey turns and freezes. Then, just like before, everything else seems to fall away until it is only him. _ Just him _.

There, standing mere yards from her, is Ben Solo, wearing a light colored tunic and looking as if it was an everyday occurrence to show up over a year after your death holding an armful of firewood.

"Ben?" She hears herself whisper. Everything feels unreal, reality soft and dreamlike around her. There no way. How could this be?

She doesn't even realize she has moved until she's in front of him. He looks solid and brimming with life, his dark hair curling over his ears and the moles on his face forming constellations that she aches to trace.

"Ben." She repeats.

His dark eyes are resting on her in something akin to a wonder that she's sure is reflected in her own. Rey raises her hand, reaching out to touch his cheek, no longer scarred from their lightsaber battle years before.

Her fingers are almost touching him, she can feel the warmth radiating off his skin, when his voice, as deep and lovely as she remembers, stops her and shatters her world anew.

"Who are you?"

* * *

**Notes:** I'm honestly still processing TROS but the one thing I am sure of is that I have loved these two dums since 2015 and I will give them the happy ending they deserve.❤️❤️


	2. Chapter 2

I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update this, the holidays were hectic and then life just got in the way. But I'm back now and I'm hoping to keep a weekly update schedule for the future. :)

I am so overwhelmed by the response to this story. Thank y'all so much for your sweet words and excitement over it. I am so grateful.

* * *

hear my plea (and come save my life)

chapter ii

* * *

At his words, Rey feels everything within her freeze.

"What?" She whispers.

Ben is still looking at her, his brows knitted in concentration. His eyes are tracing over her face as if it holds the answer to some complex equation.

He still has the ability to gaze at her with such intensity that it seems as though nothing exists apart from them. It makes the breath catch in Rey's throat.

How was he here? Did he really not know her?

She isn't sure how long she would have stayed standing there, frozen with her fingers inches away from Ben's cheek. But a man's voice breaks the silence from behind them.

"Well, I can tell this conversation calls for some tea." He says, already setting aside his hoe and making his way into the cabin. "Or perhaps something stronger."

* * *

Inside the dwelling, the man introduces himself as M'tork as he begins rummaging about the small kitchen. Dried herbs are hanging in front of a window and he began plucking at them to put some into a kettle for tea. He keeps up a steady stream of words as he works to which Rey only half listens.

She sits at the small wooden table, her head and heart still reeling from what just happened outside. She can't help sneaking glances at Ben. He leans against the far wall, arms crossed over his broad chest.

He doesn't take his eyes from her. While they lack the intensity they had out of doors, there is still a focus to them. Like a scholar studying some important artifact. Rey can feel a flush beginning to climb up the back of her neck.

M'tork hands her an earthenware mug filled with hot, sweet smelling tea. He gestures to Ben with another but Ben waves him off. M'tork shrugs and takes the tea for himself and sits down opposite Rey at the table.

"So," He begins. "You seem to know Yeled here...wait, what was it you called him again?"

"Ben." Even though she had just taken a sip of tea, her throat feels dry as she speaks. "His name is Ben."

"You knew me?" Ben's voice asks and Rey can't help but bask in the sound of it.

She looks over to him. His brows are furrowed again. It's more openly confused than perhaps she's ever seen him before.

"Yes, I knew you."

How empty the words feel coming from her mouth. What answer could she even give? Did words even exist that could express what they'd shared. The secrets they'd shared, spoken or not.

"You seem shocked to see him, why is that?" M'tork asks carefully, bringing her back to the present.

Rey grips her mug tighter.

"Because…" She stops, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

Rey opens her eyes and turns to look at Ben as she says. "Because a year ago I watched you die."

* * *

The look on Ben's face at the statement makes Rey wonder if she could have phrased it better.

It's the closest to pure shock she has ever seen on his face. She had never had to rely solely on facial cues with Ben before, the bond had always told her what was simmering beneath the surface. But now...

He looks like a droid whose central processing unit has stopped working.

M'tork's voice interrupts before Rey can try at any awkward salvaging. "Died? A year ago? How is that possible?"

Rey can only give the profound answer of shrugging. "I don't know."

"Hmm…" M'tork brings a hand up the stroke the beard on his chin in concentration. Rey had been so distracted by Ben that she hadn't paid much attention to the man across them her. She notices now how many lines there are around his eyes and mouth. His head is bald but grey whiskers line his jaw. He seems kind, if perhaps a touch nosy.

"How did you two meet?" Rey asks.

Ben still seems to be having some computing error so M'tork answers. "I found Yeled, or Ben I suppose I should call him, about four moon cycles ago, wandering in the forest. Looking worse for the wear too. His clothes were torn as if he'd been in battle and with no memories as how he'd got here or who he was."

"Wait," Rey looks between the men before setting on Ben. "You don't remember anything ?"

"I…" Ben shakes his head. "No. Nothing really..."

Now it's Rey's turn to have trouble processing.

Four months. That was around when the dreams had begun. Had Ben been calling her? But, how could he even be alive and why would it take him so long after the battle to show up?

Something occurs to Rey as she goes over what M'tork had said. "The clothes…You said the clothing was battle worn. Do you still have it?"

Ben heads over to a small chest in the corner of the living area of the cottage and pulls out a dark bundle of fabric. "The pants were too far gone but this could be mended."

He hands her the folded cloth. She unfolds the sweater, the fabric soft and thick in her hands. She feels over the knit of the sweater until she finds what she is looking for. The hole, sown over with thread that is a lighter shade than the material, where a lightsaber had cut through.

"You were wearing this, the day you…" Rey can't bring herself to finish the sentence.

She traces her fingertips over the thread repairing the rip. "It was the Battle of Exegol. We fought together."

The memories of the battle play in her mind as they so often do. How hopeless she had felt, walking to Palpatine, willing to take the throne to save her friends' lives, willing to lose herself if that is what it took.

But then, Ben had come. He had come for her. She knew then, no matter the outcome, she would be fine.

She wasn't alone any longer.

Overwhelmed, Rey sets the sweater on the table and stands abruptly. "I'm sorry, I need…"

She doesn't finish the sentence before she is hurrying out of the cabin. The sun is low in the sky and the air has taken on a chill that immediately raises gooseflesh on her arms as she walked to the edge of the property.

She takes in deep gulps of cool air, but they don't seem to reach her lungs. Rey can feel the panic beginning to raise in her chest.

Wrapping her arms around herself, she crouches, and tries to breathe.

* * *

"Well, I can't say this is how I expected the day to go." M'tork says as he finishes off his tea that must have long since gone cold. "Well, Ben, what do you think?"

Ben. His name is Ben. It feels uncomfortable, the way cold limbs feel submerged in warm water with little pinpricks of awakening. Uncomfortable but not wrong.

"I think I've got a headache."

M'tork laughs at his poor attempt at humor. "Can't blame you for that."

He sits down at the table, touching the sweater where it was left lying. The events of the last few hours still reeling in his head. Yet it keeps coming back to one thing.

The girl and the way she had looked at him.

"Do you really think she knows me?"

"She certainly seems to."

"Mm." He rubs the fabric between his fingers, staring down at it.

M'tork sighs. "Truth is, this all feels a bit out of my sphere. Jedi and battles and all that?"

He strokes his beard. "But I've heard of the battle of Exegol before. It's where the Emperor and the First Order were taken out. And apparently, you were there."

Ben turns to him and M'tork continues. "She seems like your best shot to regain your memories. To find out who you were."

His past? Surely, he should want to know, so why the feeling of dread at the thought.

He can not deny how restless he is, how empty he feels most days, how the confusion and questions eat away at him in the night. Yet, when he thinks too hard about himself, about who he is, his stomach tenses in warning. Does he want to find out why that is?

He thinks of the girl, her hazel eyes and the way she had stared at him transfixed. As if there was nothing else besides him.

"Ben." M'tork voice breaks into his thoughts and he looks over to him. His dark eyes are kind, the way they've been since he'd met him. "You can't run away."

* * *

The sun had nearly set by the time Rey had gotten herself back under control. Staring out into the darkening forest, she rubs her arms. She really should head back inside but she can't quite make her feet move yet.

"I brought you this." A deep voice says from behind her, a voice she would know anywhere. Her chest aches at its loveliness. She turns, and there is Ben holding out a blanket to her.

"It gets pretty cold out here at night." He says by way of explanation.

She reaches out to take it. "Thank you."

The air is quickly cooling to uncomfortable levels and Rey is grateful for the blanket as she wraps it around her shoulders. She feels oddly shy all the sudden and huddles deeper into the cloth and stares at the dirt.

"What's your name?"

"Huh?" Her head pops up at Ben's question.

He's rubbing at the back of his neck. "Your name. You never said it."

"Oh." Rey feels her cheeks heat at the oversight.

"Rey S…" She stops when she realizes that she is standing in front of the true heir to the Skywalker name and embarrassment floods her and stops her from saying it. "It's Rey."

"Rey." He repeats and it causes a shiver to run through her that has nothing to do with the cold. In the deepening twilight, she can still make out his features and the way the corner of his mouth tilts up as he says it, softening his features. She heart leaps at the sight.

"So, we fought together?"

Rey nods. "More than once." She stops a moment, considers, and then says. "You were also a Jedi."

Not technically a lie.

His eyes widen for a moment before a look of contemplation takes over his face. "Hmm, the sudden floating furniture makes more sense now."

Rey can't help but grin at his dry tone. Even missing his memories, at least he was still connected to the Force, that was good.

He focuses on her a moment longer before he turns his head to look out over the garden. "Do you know how to get my memories back? Or why any of this is happening?"

She shakes her head. "No."

She fists the blanket in her hands to keep from reaching out for him. "But we can find out."

Rey looks up at him, studies his profile in the pale blue light, until Ben meets her gaze once more.

"I'll help you."

* * *

They head back inside, Ben opening the door for Rey in some ingrained compulsion he can't place.

M'tork has lit a fire in the hearth while they were outside and lanterns sit on the table and counter to light the space, giving a comforting warm glow to the cabin.

"Ah, there you are." M'tork addresses him without looking up from the vegetables he is cutting. "Grab the cheese from the conservator for dinner."

M'tork has already set out bread and salted meat on the table. Ben sets the cheese next to it before going to grab plates for the food, a routine he does each night.

Rey asks if there is anything she might do to help and M'tork waves her off with his knife before continuing chopping away.

Rey. Rey. Rey.

Ben repeats the name in his head. The name fits her somehow. There's a rightness to it that he can't remember having felt before.

He looks over at her. She still has the blanket wrapped around her. Is she cold? She has a light tan, is the planet she's from warmer than here? She catches him watching her and smiles over at him, her cheeks still pink from the cool of the outdoors.

Quickly he focuses back on the plates as he feels his cheeks heat.

She was adorable.

He'd thought it outside when she'd beamed up at him, so overwhelmed by it that he'd had to focus on the radishes in the garden. Ben's chest tightens each time he looks at her, aching for something he has no name for. Everything about her captivates him.

How can she make him feel more in four minutes than he'd felt in the four months since he'd woken up on the forest floor, alone and with a root digging into his back? What was she to him?

He hadn't been lying earlier when he'd joked with M'tork about his headache. There's a sharp pain in his temples that had progressively gotten worse. Mixed in with the whirlwind of emotions taking over his gut, Ben finds himself glaring down at the plate in his hands. An impulse to break it rears up within him and he closes his eyes as he struggles against it. It's not the first time the inclination has taken hold and Ben battles against it.

Once he's mastered himself, Ben takes the plates over to the table. As he seats them on the table, he notices Rey looking at him questioningly. He can't help but look away feeling oddly guilty for some reason. Luckily, M'tork intervenes by bringing over the vegetables and proclaiming they eat.

Once sitting he inquires, "Have you thought of any way to get Ben's memories back?"

Rey stops to chew a rather large bite of bread before answering. "I'm not entirely sure. I have some Jedi texts that I'd like to look at. To see if something like this has ever occurred before."

She pauses to crunch down on a piece of carrot. "Ben was a Jedi like me so I can only think that the Force is as good a place as any to start. But the books are back on Yavin…"

She seems strangely hesitant but before he can question her, M'tork looks over to him with his bushy eyebrows raised and says. "A Jedi, huh? So it was the Force that day."

About a month prior, in an attempt to keep a shelf in the shed from falling onto M'tork's head, he'd stopped it in midair and made to float. There hadn't been any conscious thought, instead it had been natural, like breathing. M'tork had thought it may have been something called the Force and had tried to clumsily explain it to Ben. The explanation had only brought more questions rather than answers.

"How is it you know of the Force and the Jedi? Most only think of them as legends if they've heard of them at all." Rey asks M'tork.

"I spent some time on Jehda, oh must have been nearly seventy years ago now. There was a temple there. I'd talked with the monks sometimes." His smile takes on a melancholy edge. "But that's all gone now."

He is swift to continue on. "So I'm guessing you'll need to head back for those texts?"

Rey nods, peeking over at him. "Tomorrow, perhaps. If Ben wants."

He notices the freckles that play across her nose and finds himself agreeing before he's aware of it.

"Well, good, sounds like you've got the next step." M'tork stands and begins to clear the table. "We should head to bed soon. Dawn comes early in these parts."

"You can have my bed." Ben offers to Rey. There is only one proper bedroom in the cabin so Ben stays on a pallet made up on the storeroom floor. It was cramped but better than nothing.

"Are you sure?" Rey glances up at him.

Ben gets the impression of a gruff voice speaking to him and a hand ruffling his hair.

Pretty ladies always get the bed, kid. Couches are our domain.

He isn't sure where the thought comes from and why it makes his eyes burn so he shoves it aside as fast as he can.

He nods to Rey. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure."

There was a large chair by the hearth he could use. He is sure his back won't thank him for it come morning. The soft smile that Rey graces him with makes the impending discomfort seem worth it though.

* * *

In the night, Rey awakens.

There's no dream waking her this time. Instead some unreasonable dread that she's found Ben gone once more has her tip-toeing away from her makeshift bed to make sure he is still there. She stops in the doorway of the storeroom and peers out into the living area.

She spots him, still awake, sitting in front of the low burning fire. He's leaning forward with his forearms resting against his thighs. The light from the flames of the fireplace flickered over his profile as Rey admires him.

His hair is mussed as it falls down his neck, brushing his broad shoulders. His expression is sullen, his full lips pulled down at the corners. She traces the strong line of his nose with her eyes.

He seems so desperately alone that it makes her ache.

She longs to reach out, to tell him she feels it too.

Unable to stay in the shadows, she goes to him. Ben's eyes flit up and see her. He says nothing but he does not take his eyes off her as she approaches. Rey finds that she has no words to say either. Instead, she takes a seat next to him and watches the dying fire from beside him.

She will not let him be alone again.

* * *

Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

So, clearly this is so much later than I ever planned. I am so very sorry.

For some reason, this chapter gave me the hardest time. I reworked it, scrapped it entirely, took a very long break and then finally managed to finish it. I just want to write sappy smut but the plot keeps demanding angst, damn it! ?

A couple notes:

In the last chapter, I made a mistake by having Ben show up in his sweater since his clothes were left behind when he died. I don't know why I thought his death was different but it was the same as others who joined the Force (I'm blaming my total denial of his death lol). I went back and added a couple lines to address it. I'm going to try and add a scene to fix it further but it may stay a plot hole tbh.

This chapter is un-betaed so any mistakes, I apologize. I tried to catch as many as I could.

Thank you all for reading. It makes me so happy that people are enjoying this.❤️❤️

* * *

hear my plea (and come save my life)

chapter iii

* * *

As the soft dawn light creeps in through the window and across her face, Rey blinks awake. Still caught in the haze of sleep, she forgets where she is for a moment before the events of the previous day rush upon her. Had it only been yesterday?

Rubbing her eyes, she registers that she lays curled upon her side in front of the fireplace. The fire has long since died, allowing the morning chill to invade the cabin. She must have fallen asleep.

Turning over onto her back, she finds Ben sitting behind her propped up against the chair, one knee bent up with a forearm draped over it. His face is slack with sleep, his chin cushioned on his chest and dark hair falling over his brow.

_His poor neck _, she thinks with no small amount of sympathy. Rey takes in the picture that he makes, languid in his sleep with little huffs of breaths escaping past his lips.

She had had dreams of this, once upon a time. Rey had wondered, if she had taken his hand, would this have been a part of it? Waking each morning next to him, warm and within reach. Passing the nights with him, his nearness chasing away the loneliness that has chased her since childhood— the one she so often finds mirrored within him.

She had pushed the fantasy away, refusing to indulge it most days, that secret piece of her that she was declined to even acknowledge. But in that harsh year of war and training, when exhaustion and weariness that belied her years threatened to overwhelm her, she found it a balm. Something to grasp when everything else had felt like water slipping through her fingers.

It had felt like a weakness then— a shameful yearning to hide away. It wasn't until after Exegol, when it was so harshly ripped away from her that she realized what it had really been.

A hope.

One that at the end of all of it he would be there. That future awaited them, no matter how improbable. That the next time a hand was offered, whether by him or herself, it would be taken. They would choose one another and build something all their own. That was the dream that had kept her going underneath it all.

Until he lay dead within her arms, fading into the Force before her very eyes.

So she had buried it. Like the lightsabers on Tatooine, she sunk it deep within herself and did her best to ignore the aching emptiness it left behind. A wound refusing to close.

And yet, here he was, alive and so close that she could feel the heat coming off him. All she had to do was reach over the handful of inches and take his hand.

So why did the distance feel larger than ever before?

Ben shifts, bringing Rey out from her musings. She watches his breath change as sleep begins to leave him. Even with his eyes still shut, his brow furrows as if already annoyed at the very notion of being awake. Somehow the idea of Ben being grumpy in the mornings brings a smile to her lips.

His eyes slowly flutter open and Rey is captivated by the contrast of his dark lashes against his pale skin. She observes as he gains consciousness, a slow wakefulness that comes over him in waves. When he finally takes in the sight of her, his eyes dark in the low light of the cabin, her hands clench at the fabric of her top from their position atop her stomach.

"Hey." She croaks out, odd embarrassment making her cheeks warm. Rey can only imagine the picture she makes— she had taken down her typical buns last evening before bed and her hair had a tendency to resemble a haystack in the mornings.

"Hey." He responds, his voice gruff from sleep and lack of use, his own cheeks slightly pink. Ben shifts, grimacing as he tries to move his neck. He brings a hand up to rub at it, rolling it to warm up the stiff muscles. He focuses on her once more, still seeming half asleep with his eyes heavily-lidded. "You ready?"

"Yes." She finds herself answering— not entirely sure if she means it about the upcoming day or something more. "I am."

* * *

"We use an old Rebel base on Yavin 4 as a sort-of headquarters. After the war, most of the Resistance split up. Some went to Hanna City and Coruscant to help with the rebuilding of the Republic while others stayed to hunt down any remaining First Order loyalists."

They were tramping along the forest floor as Rey explained the logistics of where they were headed and why.

"We'll go there first. All my things, including the Jedi texts are there." She shrugs. "Those seem as good a place as any to start."

Ben nods, as he steps over a fallen sapling, his stride light for a man of his size.

Rey looks up— the sun was almost to its highest point in the sky. They had left the homestead that morning after a large breakfast of eggs and root vegetables sautéed in a skillet. After giving her thanks she had stood to the side to allow M'tork and Ben their goodbyes (M'tork had clapped a hand against Ben's arm as he told him "Come back and tell me some of your stories once you remember them. You've heard enough of mine.").

With mid-day getting close, the forest around them is warm. The scent of it, damp and earthy, surrounds them. The silvery-grey lichen on the trees and the springy moss beneath their feet— all of it delights Rey's senses.

It is not long before she recognizes a small hill. As they reach its crest, the meadow where she had set down the _Falcon _comes into view. As they come upon it, she can not help but look at Ben to gauge his reaction.

He is looking at the ship with a wrinkle on his nose as if smelling something unpleasant. "Can it even fly?"

She feels all the righteous indignation that always accompanies any disbelief in the legendary _Millennium Falcon _. "I'll have you know this is the ship that made the Kessel Run in twelve parsecs."

Ben continues to look dubious but says nothing more. As they approach the freighter, Rey chews at her bottom lip. Should she tell him more? What if it was able to bring up a memory? But was Han Solo the best place to start? What if it sparked the wrong set of memories?

"What?" Rey's brought out of her wondering at Ben's voice. His face is scrunched in confusion— she must have been obvious in her worrying. "What is it, Rey?"

She focuses on lowering the boarding ramp before turning back to him. Over the hum of machinery, she looks at him through her lashes and says. "The ship...it was your fathers'."

His eyes widened. "My father?"

He looks at the ship once more, reaching out a hand to lay against the worn metal of the hull. "Will he be there? On Yavin?"

Everything within her seizes and her heart aches at the next words she must say. "No." She shakes her head. "He's dead, Ben."

There's a tic in his cheek but no other reaction to the news. He keeps his hand against the metal of the _Falcon _.

"I could…" Rey pauses, wondering if what she's about to say is the right course of action. "I could tell you about him."

She knows a fair amount, from the stories she heard on Jakku and the ones that Leia would tell, dropping little pieces of her past with Han. Sometimes, she would share moments about Ben as a boy and every time Rey would store them away, secretly (or perhaps not, considering the way Leia always seemed to know more than she let on) grateful for the treasure of them.

She waits a long moment until Ben gives a nod.

Once they're up in the air, she'll tell him all she can.

* * *

"How did you know my father?" Ben asks after they enter the proper hyperlane as they sit in the main hold of the ship.

Rey tells him about the _Millennium Falcon _being on Jakku. About how she and BB-8 and Finn escaped on it. How they ran into Han, who had been searching for it, while he was transporting Rathtars. The adventure they were suddenly thrust upon.

It feels odd to have to tell him these things when before so much had simply been known through the bond.

She had never had to explain Jakku, it's burning sands and pitiless way of life. Ben had always just known. Even when she hadn't wanted him to.

* * *

"I'm a _prince _?"

"Well, technically. But Alderaan was destroyed before your birth. It was mostly a title." Rey explains.

Ben raises a disbelieving eyebrow. Of all the stories Rey has plied him with today, this seems the most unbelievable. Which is no easy feat in light of the rest of the information Rey has been telling him.

His father, a famous smuggler, and his mother, a princess and senator, both of them war generals. They sounded more like characters from a holo drama rather than flesh and blood people who had apparently raised him. His training in the Force with an Uncle, who had brought a dying order back to life. All of it felt like something he should be reading rather than have lived.

He wishes he could feel something about these amazing sounding individuals— but they're just ghosts in a story he can't remember.

The hum of hyperspace fills the cabin as Rey sits in the captain's chair. From his position in the co-pilot's chair, he watches as she toggles switches and checks lit up buttons. It seems familiar— the routine of flight. Had he flown before? He must have, considering this was his father ship.

But it doesn't explain why, when he'd first seen the freighter, he'd wanted to run in the opposite direction. The sight had made his stomach turn unpleasantly and he couldn't blame it entirely on the fact that the hunk of junk hardly looked space-worthy.

"And they're all gone? My family?"

Rey nods, her hazel eyes having gone shiny at the thought of them. They clearly meant something to her, something deep and personal.

Had it been the same with them?

What had they been? It was one of the questions he most longed to ask but held back. Somehow, it felt too personal when he couldn't even remember the man he'd been before.

Already he was captivated by her, the innate kindness and strength she had shown in the past day. Yet, there were moments when she thought no one was looking that her shoulders would slump and she looked so achingly alone. Was she lonely?

Some piece of him yearns to reach out to her, to reassure that she isn't alone. Would she welcome it? Or would it be overstepping some boundary he doesn't know of yet?

Plus...it was clear to him that she wasn't telling him everything. She considered her words too closely and would often retreat into herself as she seemed to battle over what to say. What was she not telling him?

"Your mother and uncle," Rey continues, "They both faded into the Force after extreme use of it caused their bodies to fail."

"And my father?"

She pauses. Too long. Rey shifts her gaze to stare hard at the control dash in front of her.

"He was killed."

He feels a flash of anger at the words, at the thought of it. Ben fists the fabric of his trousers. "By who?"

Again, a pause. "Kylo Ren."

He shivers at the name. "Where is he?"

Ben wants to find him, to look into the eyes of the one who murdered his father. He feels ridiculous thinking about it. What's he going to do, avenge a long dead man he can't even remember?

Rey looks at him then with an expression he can't decipher.

"He's dead."

* * *

The closer they get to Yavin 4, the more Rey's nerves heighten. By the time they are in orbit, she wishes she had something complex to tinker on to distract herself. She's not sure who will even be on Yavin right now. While the odd resistance fighter or mechanic didn't worry her, the higher ups— like her friends— were another story. While it wasn't widely known that Kylo Ren and Ben Solo were one and the same, most of the generals and those close to Leia had known.

After the war, they had all started splitting their time between Yavin and Hanna City, which had been chosen as the new headquarters for the new Republic, although Rey least of all.

None of them were apt politicians. Rose had the passion for it but not the social skills, Finn had a magnetic quality that drew people in at least and Poe was trying (and succeeding) to overcome his own hot-tempered nature to become better at the political twists that were often necessary in political games. But Rey, she had never been that good with grand schemes or lofty ideas, she preferred to focus on small everyday problems and the ways to solve them. So she stayed mostly on Yavin while the others traveled back and forth. She occasionally left for an off-world mission.

Most of the everyday running was being done by the D'Acy and Connix who were proving better suited to the job. But there wasn't much of a schedule for when the others came and went.

Rey wasn't sure how waltzing in with the supposedly dead former Supreme Leader was going to go over.

Yes, she was.

Bad. It was going to go over badly.

By the time she put down the landing gear and placed the_ Falcon _onto the ground, she was nervous, jumpy, and a little nauseous. She says to Ben.

"Why don't you stay here for a minute? I'll go in and tell them I brought someone with me. I'll be right back."

He nods in acceptance of the plan. Rey tries for a smile but she's sure it comes out strained. As she opens the hatch, she takes a deep breath, fortifying herself. Unpleasant as this was sure to be, it had to be done. She had lost him once and she wasn't about to let it happen again.

Walking down the boarding ramp, Rey is greeted by the sight of Finn and Rose coming out to meet her from the hangar. Unable to hold back a smile as Finn waves a hand vigorously over his head, she goes to meet them.

As she approaches, Finn scolds. "What did I tell you about radioing every day? Last one I got was three days ago."

She reaches out to hug him and shares a knowing smile with Rose over Finn's shoulder. "Sorry, I got distracted."

"Sure, sure." Finn rolls his eyes as he breaks the hug. "So, how'd it go?"

"Well...here's the thing…"

Just as Rey is trying to figure out the best way to rip off the bacta patch, there comes a disturbance from behind her. Turning, she spies D-O rolling down the open ramp of the _Falcon _. He must have snuck past while she was greeting Finn and Rose.

_Oh no _, she thinks.

The droid is squeaking out a panicked mix of binary and stuttering basic, clearly perturbed. She wonders closer.

"Intruder...Friend?" D-O questions.

He must have found Ben aboard the ship and needed classification information. Rey walks the few yards to where D-O is rolling anxiously back and forth, ready to comfort the small droid.

"What…" Finn's question trails off and Rey glances back at him but his eyes are fixed on something beyond her, his complexion having gone ashen. She follows his line of vision already knowing what he is seeing.

Ben. Standing on the open mouth of the Falcon.

The world seems to slow as she looks between the men before flaring back to life at twice the speed before.

"Rey. Watch out!" Finn cries out to her. He goes for the blaster attached to his hip, pulling it out and aiming it at Ben.

"Finn, no!" Without thinking, she reaches out a hand and, with the Force, freezes Finn in place.

"Rey?" His voice is strained, shock evident in his tone. She has never used the Force on him outside of training or battles and never like this. Although not frozen, Rose's posture is equally still beside Finn.

She moves to place herself in front of Finn, directly in the blaster's line of fire. Only then does she release the hold.

"What the hell was that, Rey?" He barks out, as feeling floods his limbs once more.

"Put the blaster down, Finn." She urges. "I can explain."

He grits his teeth as he keeps the blaster raised. "What is _he _doing here?"

She feels her own temper flare as she takes a step closer. "Put. It. Down."

"Screw that," Finn spits out, even as he lowers his arm, waving the blaster as if to emphasize the point. "You said he had died on Exegol?"

"He did!"

"Then why is Ky—"

"Finn!" She all but yells to interrupt his oncoming tirade. She breathes out and purposefully tempers her tone. "Look, I'll explain everything. I promise. Just...Go to the briefing room...I'll be right there, okay?"

Rey tries for a smile. It feels awkward and pulls at her face strangely.

Finn doesn't move a muscle until Rose lays a hand on his arm. Judging by the tight expression on her face, Finn isn't the only one Rey owes an explanation to. She watches as they disappear back into the hangar bay before turning around.

Ben is closer to her now, having crossed some the distance from the Falcon while her back was turned. As she approaches him, Rey notices how intense his expression is. His hands clench at his sides, his jaw tense. He's ready for a fight. It's a look she's seen so many times on his face in the past that it is almost a comfort.

She stops in front of him. "Are you okay?"

"Pretty sure I should be asking you that." He glares beyond her but when he focuses back on her, his gaze softens. "Are you alright?"

He lifts a hand, almost as if to touch her face, before seeming to think the better of it and lowering it. Rey wants to take his hand, to clutch it to her cheek and never let it go.

Instead, she paints a smile onto her face and shakes her head. "I'm fine."

D-O chooses that moment to roll up to them, seeming to realize the kerfuffle has passed.

"Friend?" The droid asks.

"Friend." Rey repeats.

This satisfies the small droid and he nods his cone shaped head and rolls away— no idea of the havoc he just invoked.

Now, if only everyone else were that easy to convince.

* * *

After getting Ben settled in her quarters with promises to return and to clarify everything, Rey makes her way to the briefing room.

It's a small room off the main comm room. It's a slow day on base, only a handful of people milling about.

Rey nods to one or two people in passing but her mind is already on the conversation ahead. When she reaches the briefing room, she inputs the code to open the door, steps in and shuts it behind her.

Finn freezes mid-pace as she enters the room, facing her and crossing his arms over his chest. Rose is seated at the table but just as intensely focused.

"Is Poe around?" She's not sure if having him here is the best idea but if she has to do this, she would rather do it all at once.

"Oh, no, you're not changing the subject that easily." Finn interjects.

"Got called to Coruscant." Rose says at the same time.

Finn shoots her a look of mock betrayal. Rose shrugs helplessly.

It's most likely better. Rey and Poe tended to butt heads even at the best of times and Finn clearly wasn't in the mood to play peacemaker today.

She fiddles with her fingers as she takes a seat at the table. "Not really sure where to begin."

"How about the part where Kylo Ren, former Supreme Leader is somehow alive." Finn's tone is stern, not one often directed at her and she finds it stings.

So she tells them, about her dreams, about being called to the planet, about finding him.

"He doesn't remember anything." Rey explains.

"How can you be sure?" Finn had sat down during her speech, his forearms braced against the desk. "If could all be some elaborate farce to get out of serving time for his war crimes or regaining his power. You brought him to a base that houses most of his enemy's secrets. Think of what he could use them for."

Rey shakes her head. "No, I'd be able to tell."

"How can you be sure? You said Ren was a powerful force user? Couldn't he be masking his intentions from you?" Rose inquires.

"No, he couldn't." Rey's refusal is absolute.

_Nothing for it then. Just tell them the truth. _She thinks.

She focuses down at her hands as she says. "I've told you all before...about the connection I had with Ben, right? Well, it wasn't merely a force connection. It was more than that. We were— we are a dyad. Literally, two halves of a whole. I'd be able to tell if he was lying. His memories are gone."

What Rey doesn't say, because she doesn't think she could make them understand, that even at their worst, when they'd nothing but enemies, Ben had never lied to her. Sometimes much to her frustration, when he'd pick at long hidden truths and not let them stay buried.

She peeks at her friends to gauge their reaction. Rose is calm and hyper-focused, the same way she gets with complex engineering problems. Finn looks like he was just told to wash a Hutt's folds.

"Okay, so fine, he doesn't remember." Finn concedes. "Then why not leave him there?"

The question shocks Rey so thoroughly that she blurts out. "What do you mean?"

"I mean—" Finn weighs out his words. "Why not let him stay there? If he really doesn't remember anything, he could have lived there where no one knew who he was. But here? Here, he is a war criminal. Why bring him back? Why try to make him remember all he has done?"

"I…" Rey gapes. "I couldn't just leave him."

"But why?" Finn demands.

"I owe him everything!" Rey finally snaps. "I'm only alive because of him."

"Wh—what?" Finn's stricken voice asks.

There's so much she hasn't told them about the Battle of Exegol. So much she has never told them about Ben.

Rey is a scavenger by nature, she does not share her treasures lightly. She hordes them— protects them with everything she has. To tell others would be to invite them to view that which she cherished. That was something she couldn't easily do. Not when it was all she could do to keep moving after Exegol.

But she'll have to share, if she wants to keep him now.

"I told you how he turned." Rey begins. "About how he turned away from Kylo Ren and came to help defeat Palpatine."

Finn and Rose nod, the two of them silently waiting for Rey to go on.

"But there's more." She licks her lips and tries to calm herself through the Force. "Ben didn't just die in battle that day."

Tears gather unbidden in her eyes and she blinks them away. "I died. I died and Ben gave up his life for me."

"I wouldn't be here if not for him." Fierce devotion wells up in her for the man they are discussing, the one who has her heart. "I'm bound to him, by circumstance and by choice. I could never leave him."

_So, don't make me choose _. She doesn't say the words outloud but they are in the air nevertheless.

Rey watches as Finn struggles. She can feel the swirl of emotions in him through the Force. Fear, worry, protectiveness, and guilt all war within him in a complex cocktail.

She thinks of when he grabbed her hand in the marketplace on Jakku. Of how he had been the first to ever ask if she was okay. Rey feels a rush of affection for him, the closest thing she has toa brother. The one who'd been with her from the start of this journey. She doesn't want to lose him either.

After a long moment, Finn merely states. "Do what you want." Before standing and leaving the room.

Once he exited, Rose heaved a heavy sigh. "I'll talk to him. You know he's just worried."

"Yeah. I know." Rey stares another moment at the door before looking back at Rose.

Rose raises an eyebrow. "So, any more secrets you need to share?"

Rey feels a blush burning on her cheeks. She ducks her head in embarrassment. "Ben and I, we kissed. On Exegol. Well, I kissed him."

While she isn't as close to Rose as she is with Finn, this feels easier to admit to her. She ventures a glance at the other woman.

Rose has a soft tilt to her lips, no trace of judgement on her face. "I figured as much."

Still flushing, Rey can't help but let out a chuckle.

Rose stands, brushing her hands over her khaki pants. As she passes Rey, she places a hand on her shoulder. "Just remember Rey, you're not alone. Not anymore. We're here if you need us."

Rey nods as tears threaten to spill over at the words.

Rose gives her one last smile before heading out of the room.

* * *

Rose finds Finn in his office, savagely typing in codes as he looks at star-charts.

"You know you're being a bit unreasonable, right?" She inquires of him.

He shoots her a glare before grumbling. "Am not."

Rose can't help but laugh at his petulant tone. Finn is normally so jovial that it always comes as a surprise at how testy he can get.

He sighs and runs over his face. "I'm just concerned. You know how she gets."

Rose crosses the room to his side and perches on the edge of the desk.

"I can't help feeling like this whole situation is going to go badly. How can we be sure he won't hurt her?" Finn looks up at her. "It is not safe."

"We just have to trust her and be there for her." She reaches out to cup his cheek. After a moment, he relaxes into her hand, the tension leaving his shoulders.

"And really, Finn," Rose gives him a gentle smile. "Since when is love ever safe?"

* * *

Rose, girl, you the real MVP.


End file.
